All the Reasons I Can’t
But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.” (Exodus 4:13 NIV)
Since I surrendered my life in 2011, I have felt a call from the Lord to serve Him. If I’m being honest there were moments where I thought I should be a priest or a pastor before I even gave my life to Jesus. Long before I knew what it meant to be a true follower of Jesus I can remember one conversation that should have told me something was very wrong spiritually. I remember speaking to a group of co-workers one day in the breakroom of the business we worked at. After suggesting I thought I was being called to be a pastor, someone prodded: “don’t you have to be a Christian to be a pastor?”
Sometime later I finally found out why that conversation stung so deeply. The person who asked me that honest question saw something in me I didn’t see in myself. After surrendering my life to Jesus in September of 2011, I formed an online ministry called My Emanuel. Still active today and the precursor to Reborn Church, My Emanuel is an online ministry with the purpose of taking the Good News of Jesus to the world. Although I’ve felt called before I even truly knew the One who was calling me… I’ve always felt unqualified, unworthy, and unable to truly step into the calling God has placed on my life.
The last 10 years of my life have seen me submitting deeper into the call God has placed on my life. If I’m being honest, I continue to hold out fully surrendering to full time ministry. Today the very real thought hit me that there are four real obstacles holding me back:
- I missed God’s will before, what if I am mistaking my desires for His?
- I’m not qualified to be a pastor
- I have a family to provide for (I can’t walk away from my secular job)
- I’m scared
What about you today? Is God calling you to do something that you feel insecure, unqualified, unprepared, or scared of? In Exodus chapter 4 we see this same struggle play out. God’s chosen instrument of deliverance for His chosen people Israel was Moses. Moses might as well have been a million miles away from Egypt, living a life as a shepherd, far from his people or where God was calling him. When God showed up and called Moses to go to Egypt to be His voice before Pharaoh, Moses had reason after reason he couldn’t go and God should send someone else. Objection after objection revealed the truth: Moses could only see every reason he couldn’t go instead of the one reason he had to… it was God’s will for his life.
Today if you feel God calling, you may have a million reasons not to go. You may not be qualified and insecure not thinking you have what it takes. Instead, let us remember that God isn’t calling the qualified, He qualifies the called. (Colossians 1:12) All the degrees, certifications, experience, charisma, charm, and eloquence in the world don’t matter unless God is with you. In Exodus 4 we see over and over that Moses thought surely God had the wrong guy… but God went on to use Moses to become the first leader of the nation of Israel during the Exodus.
Today whatever excuses you have for resisting and running from the call of God, lay them at His feet. Surrender and trust Him even when you can’t see the end of the story. Trust Him to equip you, sustain you, and open the doors as you faithfully seek His call on your life. Lay ever fear and failure at His feet and call out: “not my will be done, but thy will be done”.